Still from A Journey to Avebury, by Derek Jarman, 1971.  Courtesy James Mackay.

Still from A Journey to Avebury, by Derek Jarman, 1971. At SFMoMA, courtesy James Mackay.

I told you I would let you know what it’s like to sit half lotus for 15 minutes and now I’m going to do that.* It felt like a long time, but I thought I was only about half way through when the buzzer went off.

While I sat, my mind was definitely doing lots of chatter about ‘is this safe for my knees?’ and ‘what about doing damage?’ and ‘you know doing it for 3 times as long as you ever have may not be the best place to start’ and then what’s the title of tonight’s post and how long do I have left and when’s this gonna end and all manner of useless fuckery (my favorite word of the month) about how I could squirm out of what I said I would do.

This is usually what’s going on in my head no matter if I’m doing half lotus or just trying something new – there’s a constant concern for ‘am i up for this?’.

Eventually, amidst the chatter, a couple things I have learned surfaced. The first was just to focus on my breathing, which is of course, very centering. Then I reminded myself that I am a woman of enormous will when I choose to be.

And so I sat, soaking in the silence while playing energy slinky from palm to palm. After the timer went off I sat a bit longer and then slowly uncoiled from the pose. My poor little left foot was all tingly and needed a little rest to get back with the program, but all is completely well. No hurty knees, no owwy ankle, no damage at all.

My parting thought: yoga is a journey, not a destination.

*Inside joke for current and former IL’s