Regal Geranium

Regal Geranium

I’m not sure where I’ve heard it of if I’m just paraphrasing poorly, but being present is a constant struggle. Tonight my practice began, as usual, with a whine (why is my geranium dying?) and then eased, also as usual, into being wonderfully centering and something I’m grateful I’m doing.

What I noticed tonight from dwelling in my breath is that I’m rarely ever present during my day. I’m always doing the thing that is instead of the thing I should be or want to be doing.

Even during yoga, my mind merely slows down, but I haven’t quite found access to the off switch. I’m still always trying to be some place or someone I’m not. And of course, trying to be present doesn’t deliver being present.

And to think I thought I’d get bored with doing the same handful of poses in a week. If my whole practice was just six poses it wouldn’t matter – that’s just to keep my skin-bag occupied while my spirit/being/soul seeks peace, stillness, wholeness, acknowledgment or something else. I remain unsure.

I do know that I have had my yoga practice as separate and distinct from the rest of my day. Down the road, when I can steal a moment of presence in that focused setting, maybe I’ll become evolved enough to take the show on the road. Y’know, like actually being present or even having an intention to be present the other 23 hours and 48 minutes of my day.

But first I’ll just see if I can get the geranium to bloom.