This is shaping up to be the year of dreams fulfilled. I had a major insight that cracked open a whole new world of possibility for me today. It’s still opening up. If I weren’t already dog tired I’d share more about it right now.
The shortest version I can manage is that the source of my whole life of want, struggle, anger and frustration in the area of relationships became crystal clear today in distinguishing the conversation that has been running my life, unbeknownst to me. That conversation, which has provided the default backdrop, context if you will, for all my thoughts and actions is “What’s wrong with me?”
And the more I accomplished and the more I was acknowledged, the more persistent the question was. “What’s wrong with me?” that if I’m so great, I never get asked out; I haven’t had a date since the Bush administration and I never get hit on by anyone with a full set of teeth, I’ve never been in a long-term relationship, engaged, etc meanwhile toothless, angry, dumb heifers date, fall in love, have sex and get married repeatedly. What more could I possibly do or be? You may also hear the flip-side of this question, which is “what’s wrong with them?” Either I’m too good for them or they’re too good for me.
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